71.9% of Income Goes to Debt Payment? How, Exactly, I'm Doing This.

originally published 1/26/2019

Hi, I’m 36, and I just raided my piggy-bank so that I could write a first draft of this in the luxury of a coffee shop.  This americano was not a budgeted expense.  Sometimes that is How, Exactly, I’m Doing This. 

Also, there are more swears here than I have published lately.  My apologies if they distract. 

Thank you to the many friends who responded with encouragement to a recent Facebook post: 

“Folks paying off debt: make it a game. You got this. This is not to brag, it's the simple fact that talking about my debt is incredibly motivating to me. My game is to use as much of my income as possible every month as debt payment. This month, I've used 71.9% of my net income to pay debt. Think you couldn't? Dare you.” 

Some folks PM’d me, asking how this is possible.  A few asked right in their comment.  71.9% of my net income, when I’m only making $13/hr is, let’s say, unusual.  So I thought I’d do a breakdown of how it works. 

But before I make a list of numbers, I have to say, numbers are just the measure of the game I’m playing.  The game itself is attitude and faith and a good streak of stubbornness.  The game is Don’t Let The Man Get You Down.  The game is casting a skeptical eye on every part of life and asking, Does This Matter?  Does This Contribute to the life I want, or not?  (and if it doesn’t matter or it doesn’t contribute, can I sell that shit?)  :)

While those questions sound cold, even harsh, well, they kinda are.  So let’s soften this up a little with some description of the life I’ve chosen to pursue.  The life I want. 

I want to be deeply ingrained in and present with my family.  I walked away from some significant income opportunities when I moved from Bainbridge Island, WA to Sandpoint, ID.  I know this prolongs my journey out of debt, but it was a decision long and carefully taken.  I’ve been my family’s satellite, usually hundreds of miles away from them, for nearly 20 years.  I’ve had countless experiences that shape me, and I’m grateful for it all.  AND I’ve missed these characters at the core of my life, so very much.  I’ve missed irretrievable moments, and I just refuse to miss more of them.  I want to see my father and mother, my big sister, and now, SO FUN, my brother-in-law and nephews and niece.  I want to help my parents when they begin to need it, for as long as they’ll need it.  And have a lot of fun with them, too!  I want to watch these kiddos growing up, and be a regular feature in their growing worlds.  There’s nothing like walking up to their front door and hearing them shriek “Auntie Cara’s here!!”  You bet I am, little dudes and dudette.  Let’s build a fort. 

I want to take care of and preserve my health.  I’m very healthy, and it’s not something I take for granted.  You don’t get to your mid-thirties without seeing a lot of health tragedies, a lot of unfair genetics, a lot of friends cut deeply or cut down in their prime.  My very first new friend in Idaho is (likely) dying of bone cancer.  Maybe it’s also a side effect of being in the ministry, presiding at many funerals, to have a keen awareness that all flesh is grass.  Living life at a human pace, being active but not insane about it, eating nutritious foods, steering clear of unnecessary stressors, these are more and more important to me all the time.  I’m not going to live forever, and I don’t want to.  But I do want to kick ass for as long as I am lucky to kick it! 

I want to live in a community long-term, and build some deep relationships.  I want to be in one place long enough so that my far-flung friends and family know where the heck to find me!  (And visit, please!)  I don’t know if I’ll ever be married, or have my own children.  I’m content with the possibility, and I am content with life continuing to unfold as it is.  However it goes, I want to be “a local,” and that takes time. 

I want to be generous.  Right now, I’m not a regular giver to any one cause or organization.  I do give, though.  I’ve helped some friends and some strangers through crowdfunded campaigns.  Usually at about $50, because that feels very significant to me, without totally undermining my debt payment effectiveness.  I’m looking forward to this becoming a feature of my budget, instead of a sporadic gift.  I know there are many who insist on tithing even while in debt, but it seems presented like a psychological trick to stay focused, or at worst, rooted in a transactional (“give-to-get”) understanding of faith.  Well, I’m fucking focused, and that’s now how faith works. 

And I want to be financially independent.  I’d like to become free of having to have a job, so that I can make my own schedule, make the money I need on my own terms, and be free for all the other goals and hopes I have.  There’s a book or two in my head, for sure.  I want to run a bed-and-breakfast someday.  I’ll be selling my own line of homemade skincare soon, and would love to see how a personal business grows.  (Does this mean I need to learn to use instagram?  Oh barf.)  I don’t have a timeline etched in stone, as the first step for almost all of this is to get out of debt.  But I’m getting pretty damn excited and hopeful about what will be possible next!

So those are some broad strokes, a general view of what I want.  Staying focused on this gives me the criteria to decide how I use what resources I’ve got. 

I don’t have a system that could apply to everyone.  I’m not putting this out here as a prescription.  This only works for me because of a few realities of my life that are not everyone else’s reality.  I have the freedom to be pretty strict with myself.  I keep my expenses down.  I plan to keep them that way, even as my income (hopefully) grows once again. 

The thing that I can suggest for anyone who’s also facing a big hairy financial challenge, is the attitude to not be defeated by your present situation.  Find the tiny little leverage points that seem like they can’t possibly make a difference.  They will, if you use them.  I got into a good chunk of my debt one small transaction at a time, and in the beginning, that’s the way out, too.

You have to acknowledge it fully, yes.  Be embarrassed by it, if you must.  You don’t have to do this publicly, of course.  I can’t tell you how often I thought about facing my debt, but I didn’t, because I couldn’t bear what it meant for my self-image.  I was, ahem, a professional, with a master’s degree, you know.  Well, well, well.  Compounding interest don’t GAF, never did and never will. 

Enough already, this is the skeleton of my monthly budget:

Rent $300

Grocery $100

Phone $40

Vehicle insurance $45

One tank of gas $45 (max)

Personal use $15

Paying back a (zero interest) family loan $100

Student loans $1530 or more, as possible.

What?!  Yeah.  Some of these numbers are hard for me to believe sometimes, so I’ll describe more for those who are interested.

And right from the start, I ought to include, I built an emergency fund from the start of this process.  This keeps my financial stress down, and I can stay focused.  I’ve got options, room to make changes if I want to or need to.  I could live for about 4 months if my income disappeared.  Of course, only if I were truly incapacitated would I allow all 4 months to go by.  And I’m careful, especially physically, because even though it’s incredibly unlikely, an accident is possible.  And this is not a country in which I’d want to tangle with the “health”-industrial complex, if I can help it at all.  Eh?!

Rent at $300 is a dream - I am renting a bedroom in someone else’s house.  The owners are generous and wonderful people, and I’m lucky to have found them.  (Friend of a friend of my sister’s… welcome back to small town living!)  I’ve got one housemate who is easy to get along with, thank goodness.  And we’ve got bunnies and chickens!  Of course, this is the first of several things that are particular for me, and cannot necessarily be everyone’s strategy for saving money.  My life fits in a room.  Not everyone’s can. 

When I first moved to Sandpoint, I stayed with my parents for the first several months and learned that there is no apartment or house to rent that I can afford.  Even when I craigslisted a housemate search.  This area is hit by the Air-BnB rental pinch just like many cities.  There’s always a rich ski bum coming to town in the winter, and a richer lake-loving tourist in the summer.  People with property to rent use their property as they wish, and I can’t fault them.  I mean, that’s part of my own hope and strategy for a bed-and-breakfast someday.  It’s gorgeous here!   

So this small-scale living is totally perfect for me, for now.  I live three blocks from a public dock, so when it warms up I can just carry my kayak and launch.  I can walk or bike to work and everywhere else I want, which explains the one tank of gas per month.  The only driving I really plan on is to church, and fitting in some bigger errands on Sunday afternoons.  Now that I’ve lived this budget for a month, I see that trimming my gas use is a place I can keep leveling up the game.  :)

Speaking of trimming my fuel/vehicle expense… I paid cash for the vehicle, so there’s no payment.  But it’s SO painful to pay insurance when I drive so little.  I did some research on pay-per-mile insurance, but what I found didn’t really make for savings.  I am going to document my low mileage and negotiate with my current insurer, after a few months of evidence in my favor accumulates.  And, after a year or so, if I don’t really need the vehicle here, I’ll sell it.  I still have my Ruckus, which gets 100+ miles per gallon, when it’s not icy and snowy.  (And if you have first-hand experience of pay-per-mile, please let me know how it is going!)

I thrive on $100 for food.  I will say, this involves a lot of ground beef and absolutely zero eating out.  Nothing goes to waste; I consume every calorie I purchase.  I actually feel better than ever, but offering food advice is even touchier than money, so I’ma zip it.  I’m not sure if I can trim this budget item, but of course if it happens, that’s awesome! 

The phone is actually shy of $40, but it’s easier to work with a round number, over-estimating the expense each month.  This is one of the little places I rustle up a few more bucks to pay off debt, and always make sure I have enough for bills. 

And that teeny-tiny “personal” budget.  $15 for a month??!  Yes.  This is where it becomes a game in earnest.  How much fun CAN you have for $15 or less, per month?  A shit ton, my friends! 

Let me be the first to say, of course I say “no” to a lot of fun things.  Obviously I’m not hitting Schweitzer, even on the cheap Sunday afternoon lift ticket deals.  And sometimes it’s very sad to say no.  I am missing a very dear friend’s wedding next month.  Another friend wants to take a cheap flight to Hawaii together.  I hate saying no to things like this.  But, I won’t always have to. 

What do I do?  I do what I want!  Game nights with my family, and with some growing circles of new friends.  I just learned the game euchre and it’s hilarious!  Read and write a ton, as I always have.  Playing outside with the gear/activities I already have.  (Take care of your gear, it will take care of you.)  I listen to podcasts and learn new things.  I’m perfecting the recipe on a homemade moisturizer that has cured my adult acne (oh yeah, that’s part of a coming sales pitch).  And I do go out with friends, and co-workers, I just keep it simple.  Free seltzer water, with a generous tip, hasn’t pissed off a server yet.  (I guess I should be thankful that I’ve completely lost my taste for alcohol, somehow?!)  It comes down to this: the people in my life, new and long-standing, are the most important.  And you just don’t have to spend money to have a good time together.  I’m expecting that spring and summer will be even better, since my true favorites are cycling and playing in the water. 

So as you can see, this is a tight budget to keep, and my situation cannot necessarily apply to anyone else.  I have my health, and being single means lots of flexibility to grab opportunities.  (Know anyone in my area who needs a pet-, house-, or kid-sitter??)  My quality of life is sky-high, in my opinion.  I am overflowing with gratitude, like, tearfully grateful, on a regular basis. 

Besides the gratitude, of course I also very consciously cultivate inspiration and motivation to stay the course.  The simplicity of my life is counter-cultural, and keeping it that way appeals to my stubborn side.  Although Marie Kondo’s show on Netflix is shining a nice spotlight on the possibilities of simplicity!  (No, I don’t pay for netflix, but she’s making headlines and I read the book, did the joy-sparking, several years ago.)  I’m not exactly following Dave Ramsey’s baby-steps and debt snowball method, but they deeply influenced my plan.  And there are multitudes of people sharing their stories of getting out of debt on youtube and blogs. 

One lightbulb-inspiration moment, for me facing my debt and really starting to deal with it, was the blog Mr. Money Mustache.  (Thanks, Worzala-Dumke’s!!)  Sort of a Dave-Ramsey-meets-facepunch-attitude.  To be honest, Dave’s preachiness has always turned me off, theological snob that I’ve been.  I needed the same straightforward approach, presented without religious trappings.  And yes, this is a great irony (or something) because I am a person of faith, and many biblical stories do inspire and motivate me! 

For the last few weeks, I’ve had the image of David encountering Goliath continually popping into my head.  That’s how Spirit speaks, often.  Just ruminating on an image, and wondering about it from many angles.  This is contemplation and an ancient practice, and fruitful. 

It’s easy to see my debt as Goliath, come to crush and mock me.  Easy also to widen the perspective, and see our entire student-loan-racket as Goliath, championed and cheered by his army of college recruiters and administrators.  While assistant and untenured professors simper and carry their gear, while their teaching and wisdom and bestowing of degrees is trotted out as justification to conquer.  So what shall we do? 

As individuals, in imminent danger of being crushed, yeah it’s terrifying but you go looking for small smooth stones.  Armor and weapons at Goliath’s scale just won’t work for you right now.  You leverage the tool you know best: your slingshot.  You don’t waste any time or energy with anything beyond your immediate ability to use.  That’s a few moves away, if you get there.  But you have to start with finding small stones and you fling them with all your skill. 

This inspires me right now.  Small stones.  I trim my expenses so that I can throw every dollar at Goliath.  I sell things I no longer use or need (um, anyone want some theology books?).  I say “yes” to small opportunities, no matter how insignificant they might seem to others.  Eating eggs from the chickens in the backyard means I don’t have to buy them, which is a few dollars/stones I can throw.  Taking a dog-sitting gig means my next insurance payment is covered, which frees up some paycheck to throw.  You find small stones all over, if you’re looking. 

And hopefully, you succeed past the point of only using small stones.  A little breathing room could develop, where you and your fellows facing Goliath can start talking about cutting his supply lines, or inflitrating and recruiting allies from within his ranks. 

I don’t deny the systemic and enormous scale of the student loan debt crisis in this country.  It is a scandal and a crime against an entire generation.  There is no way out, via bankruptcy, making it a unique debt.  There are precious few relief and/or forgiveness programs, and some of them, just some, are enemy agents from Goliath’s side, tricking many powerful people that “there’s really no huge problem, because you can just apply to participate in xyz program…”

But from my position, I can’t join in any of the fear-and-awe at Goliath’s strength.  I will not, I cannot, spend time catastrophizing about his size, armor, number of minions, much less about how far I allowed him to encroach on my territory.  He’s here now and I’ve finally showed up, too.  I hope some who are in less immediate danger are assessing these things and finding his weaknesses.  But what I have to do is look for the next stone that I can throw.  That’s my game. 

Don’t underestimate your slingshot, my friends.  Don’t let the man get you down.  You got this.