An Irreverent Ruckus

(Hey look!  The blog is now back in real time!)   Yesterday (7/20/19, in truth) was kind of a tough day.   It was bill-pay-day, and usually it’s a very motivating day each month.   Usually I get a rush when each payment confirmation number pops up.   Usually I feel like a complete badass, calculating what percent of my net income I’ve managed to use toward debt.   But yesterday was tough, because for the second month in a row, my income has been lower and my percentage used toward debt has dropped.   (51% June, 46% July)   I’ve lost some momentum toward my goal.   In one sense, my lower income is a measure of improvement and integrity: I’m getting more efficient at my job, and I’m not the kind of person who milks the timeclock.   Once I’ve finished my responsibilities, I look around for more that I can do to support my co-workers, but sometimes there isn’t anything pressing.   I feel horribly guilty if I d...

originally published 1/26/2019 Hi, I’m 36, and I just raided my piggy-bank so that I could write a first draft of this in the luxury of a coffee shop.  This americano was not a budgeted expense.  Sometimes that is How, Exactly, I’m Doing This.  Also, there are more swears here than I have published lately.  My apologies if they distract.  Thank you to the many friends who responded with encouragement to a recent Facebook post:  “Folks paying off debt: make it a game. You got this. This is not to brag, it's the simple fact that talking about my debt is incredibly motivating to me. My game is to use as much of my income as possible every month as debt payment. This month, I've used 71.9% of my net income to pay debt. Think you couldn't? Dare you.”  Some folks PM’d me, asking how this is possible.  A few asked right in their comment.  71.9% of my net income, when I’m only making $13/hr is, let’s say, unusual.  So...

originally published 10/7/2018 It’s done.  I’ve moved!  Been thinking about it for years, and this summer it finally seemed like the right time.  I now live in northern Idaho, near my immediate family.  In the coming week I will be transferring my vehicle registration, switching banks, registering to VOTE, and plastering this town with job applications.  I can’t wait to see how this chapter of life unfolds and what I can create.  But that doesn’t mean leaving Washington was easy.  I absolutely LOVED my life on Bainbridge Island, and before that, at Rosewood Manor.  I wasn’t blogging for most of these 7 years (7!?!), but I’ve journaled since I was a teen.  There’s a clear record of how it’s been for me.  About a week before the move, a dear group of friends took me out to dinner as a farewell.  We call ourselves “the bips,” as we all live on Bainbridge Island or the (Kitsap) peninsula.  All single ladies, fro...

originally published 7/3/2018 Time flies.  I didn't mean for half a year to pass between posts!  There is much that I could update, but the most relevant pieces are these: My wonderful year as a school librarian is complete.  I would have been happy to stay, but one year was the only guarantee.  The school is small, and has made several staff changes for next year.  They are moving in a good direction and I learned a lot while there.  So I'll be spending some time this summer refining my resume, and plotting new directions.  Higher than ever before, on my list of possibilities, is moving closer to my family in northern Idaho, and building a life there.  I've known for a long time that I want to be there.  I want to see my nephews and niece growing up!  My sister and I have become close, finally as adults, and I want to nurture that relationship as much as possible.  And I want to be near my parents again, especially ...

originally published 12/31/2017 Last fall before moving to Bainbridge Island, my then-boyfriend and I had the chance to visit Iceland.   Of course, Iceland is amazing.   We rented a camper-van for two weeks, and spent our time on the southern coast.   There is more to see and I hope to return someday.   There’s a lot of good that comes with traveling alongside a photographer.   We spent days at some places, where most travelers jump out of their vehicles, snap photos, and race away to the next spot in the guidebook.   Not us.   Days at a sight.   Days.   So chill.   N would hike off with his large-format camera, sometimes I followed to help (especially to hold umbrellas in case of rain!), but most of the time I could meander.   Walking slowly and letting thoughts come and go, I am good at.   Hustling, keeping a rigid travel itinerary, not for me.   So it was a near-perfect two weeks.   At that poin...

originally published 11/24/2017 It’s just days after Thanksgiving and it’s been a long time between posts.   I am on a gratitude high!   I’ve been slightly thanks-intoxicated for months (you should try this stuff), but being with my family to tell about it all has pushed me right over the edge.   Wheeeeee!   I have a new niece (6 weeks old!) to celebrate!   Visiting my sister, brother-in-law, two adorable nephews, the dog and the cat, is now even more awesome.   They actually ARE the wholesome-happy-family country song, in real life.   My parents are in mostly good health.   I am enormously, daily, grateful for the ongoing attitude-overhaul since I decided to resign from my call.   More on this, another time.   As one of my coffees mug tells me: Start where you are, Use what you have, Do what you can.   In the last 6 months: I got out of a too-expensive rental without any lease-breaking fuss or added costs...

originally published 6/13/2017 “For a good man to realize that it is better to be whole than to be good is to enter on a straight and narrow path compared to which his previous rectitude was flowery license.”   - John Middleton Murry   “You don’t know what love is, you just do as you’re told.”   - The White Stripes   How does it feel to leave the ministry?   Mostly, good grief.   Honest.   With a heaping dose of “well, now what?” trepidation.   I should clarify, for those who know the jargon, that I am no longer “on leave from call,” but I have resigned fully from the roster of ordained leaders which my denomination keeps.   And, to quit being so cryptic, I was an ordained pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America.   For just under five years, and after having prepared and studied for four.   Add in the year or so of choosing a seminary and application processes, and we’re talking about the prima...

(Fyi, I used to blog in another place, and have taken it all down.  This was originally posted on 04/21/2017.) A former pastor...   A year ago, nearly to the day, I stood before my congregation saying something like, "I see you got my letters."   All kinds of emotions in their faces, and all over mine as well.   That week I had mailed letters of resignation, and this was the first time we had all gathered after the news broke.   I was going to take a break from ministry, and that meant no longer serving as their pastor.   I need to say this now, and will probably repeat it often.   This congregation was full of kind, wonderful people.   I miss them to this day, and choosing to leave was very difficult.   Especially because I knew - I know - they love me.   I was their eager, just-out-of-seminary, tattooed, cycling, beer-swilling pastor!   (True story, at my initial interview, they presented me with a basket full of choc...